When I first started playing pickleball about seven years ago, one of the most endearing factors about the game, besides the people who played it, was the overall positive atmosphere, and a simple saying that was prevalent on every court I ever played on: “Relax, it’s only pickleball.” It was that simple phrase that grabbed me and has held me to this day.
Now, for those of you who know me, you know I love to compete. There was a time in my life when I let it get out of control, to be honest. I was a screamer, a curser, a trash talker — basically, a jerk, when I look back on it. I had to win. At all costs. Did I have fun too? Sure did. But I let it get out of control.
After all these years of competing in softball, baseball, hockey, tennis, racquetball or whatever I was playing, I finally realized that winning wasn’t the most important thing any longer.
As I get older, I still have the desire to compete. Is winning better than losing? Of course it is. But when I finally matured (just recently), I realized a key lesson: Winning now is gravy on the potatoes. For me, now, it’s about competing and having a positive experience.
Do I still chide myself loudly when I screw up, or blow my own horn when I pull a shot out of nowhere for a winner? Yeah, I do. You can only change so much.
But never on a pickleball court have I ever trash talked to an opponent, scolded a partner for missing shots or knowingly called a ball out when it was clearly in.
Is there some good-natured bantering between friends? Of course there is. It’s fun and meant to be fun. Pickleball has opened a door for me to new friends who love to play and compete and have fun doing so. But never at the expense of hurting someone’s feelings.
But now I’m seeing a change in the atmosphere on the courts.
As the game continues to explode in popularity, and more and more people are taking up their paddles to play, there is a growing number of over-serious players with blinders on compete and who don’t care whose feelings they hurt. A me-first attitude, scolding partners, actual arguments, name-calling, even a pushing match recently have been seen on some local courts.
I am hearing horror stories about jumping the line when waiting to play, court hogging, private games on public courts, etc. Some players refusing to play with others based on personal feelings or their ability to compete.
I hope we’re not letting the greatness of this game get taken over by the few who must win at all costs.
I know — who am I to call the kettle black? I’m sure I ruined many a night on the softball field for other players 25 years ago.
If you want to play serious pickleball, there are plenty of tournaments and leagues you can bring your scowling attitude to and play to win that $2.79 medal. Knock yourself out.
But if you want to get the most enjoyment that this game can offer, take a damn chill pill. Missed the shot down the line? Don’t worry, it’s just pickleball. Left a ball too high that your opponent put away? Forget it, it’s only pickleball.
One of the first things I tell new students that we teach is something that I wish was told to me years ago: It’s a game!
If it ever gets to the point that playing pickleball, or any game, for that matter, isn’t fun, stop playing it. I stopped playing golf years ago. It was just too damn annoying and frustrating. Sure, I had a couple of good rounds — but I threw my clubs in a lake once.
Play to have fun. Play to compete. Compete with manners and stop worrying about winning all the time.
This game has opened new worlds to me. Made me do some serious self-analysis and changed me for the better. (I know some people wouldn’t think so, but I’m not throwing bats all over the place anymore.)
I have loved the change and the way I feel during lessons, playing with friends and competing in tournaments. This game has changed me.
For me now, I want to compete, I want to have fun and, most importantly, I don’t want to take this game too seriously when it comes to playing. I take it seriously enough on the business side.
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